Medical explanations aside as I deal with those in What is a Cleft Lip and What is a Cleft Palate pages of this site, this page is dedicated to why this might have happened to you and your family. 

To date, there has been no one single cause found to predetermine clefting in an embryo.  So...

Don't take the blame!

It's pretty classic that people will ask how it happened.  There may even be one or two misguided souls who ask you what you ate /  drank / smoked / stood next to / thought about / breathed in / worked with...etc.. etc.. during your first trimester - like it is your fault.  Please, please, please... don't take that on.

One 'well meaning' relative in my husband's family commented within ear shot that it had to be on my 'side of the family' as everyone on theirs was 'normal'.   I pray that you are never witness to comments like this but if you are, try not to let it upset you. 

Ask to speak with a Genetic Counsellor at the hospital is the best bit of advice I can give you on this matter. They will look back into your family history and see if there is a likely cause.

It may seem like the worst thing in the world right about now, but if any of the cleft kids I've met over the past few years are anything to gauge it on, it's not always that bad. 

It's hard to stop but, really, worrying for the baby is moot at this tender age, unless there are other factors involved in the whole situation and then you are outside of my realm of understanding and I won't even pretend to appreciate what you're going through at this stage. 

My second born child was planned.  I exercised, I ate the right food, I had good folic intake, I did everything by the book and under the doctor's keen eye as I had pre-eclamsia and was hospitalised from 34 weeks with my first pregnancy. 

As gorgeous as our first born was at birth (and still is) he came out with undiagnosed health problems that stopped him from breathing after he had been home a few days. So, having almost lost him 7 times in his first four months of life, never spending a night in the same bed as my husband as we took it in turns to sleep in with the baby, having to give up breast-feeding because the two of us spent too many nights in the hospital and my milk dried up out of stress, having to strap the tiny soul into his bed each night so he didn't roll off him monitor that alarmed whenever he stopped breathing (draws a deep breath) - I just wanted the second child to be the 'easy baby'.

When Tim was born with the bilateral cleft lip, no hard palate and a split soft palate I kind of gave up the notion that he was going to be my 'easy baby'.  I vowed he was to be my last, however! I had two perfect boys - why tempt fate?

Of course I worried at times (yeah, I know I told you not to, but I'm the voice of experience here) and I even felt anger at stares, and annoyance at ignorance, but it's life and most misguided comments or reactions will be just that - misguided.  Best bit of advice I can give to you is to not over-react.  I know I have sometimes, but, again with the voice of experience thing...

When Tim was still very little I read a personal story where the girl said that her mother was so over-protective of her that it drove her nuts as she grew older.  Her mother acted like it was something that happened personally to her, tackling kids in the schoolyard for playing roughly with the girl (when all it really was was general kid's play).  In the end the girl felt some resentment towards her for that.  That article made me stop and think.  It is theirs!

There most definitely came a time in my son's life where the condition became wholly his, and while it was mine to worry over in the first few years it then became his to live with for the rest of his life. 

I'm just here as a support person - to walk along side of him throughout his life and give whatever support he needs of me.

As for what might happen in the future?  You need to remember that kids are kids and it doesn't matter a bean if your child has a cleft scar, a speech problem, wears glasses, walks with a limp, has blonde hair, freckles or green eyes... kids will find something to tease others about.  Don't focus on the cleft or you may miss the great things too!

I bet that last thought has brightened your day no end :)